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Watching the world go by as a woman. What does it mean? You grow up. You see your mum or aunties looking after your little brothers, sisters, cousins. You question what it will be like to be a mum. You go to weddings, you watch the princess day of every woman’s life and wonder when that will be you. You grow up and start experiencing changes with your body, changes with your mood, changes of beliefs. You question life outside of what you know. You want to think that growing up is about being rebellious, fitting in, being popular. As a girl, you dream of having a boyfriend one day or even just sitting with your friends and having some wine. You look towards your mother figure, and want to be everything that she is. You think about your 16th, 18th and 21st seems a long way away. You do your GCSE’s and try to plan your future. You make your plans, and try your best to carry them out. You keep a strong head through the darkness and stress. You consider why you’re doing all this, staying up late, trying to stay out of any drama, being alone. You know it’s because one day you yourself, will be a mum. So, you let yourself work harder and harder. You get into relationships. You go through heartbreak. You begin to realise what is and isn’t right for you. You know you’ll always be daddy’s light. You try to set an example for all your younger siblings and cousins. You get out of a zone, and see what else is out there. You go away from home and explore. You become more independent. You tried to spend the first segment of your life, keeping everyone else happy. Things get hard. You let a different side of you show. You let yourself focus on yourself. Until, you get into another relationship. Complete opposite. Rebellious boy, with a smart head. You understand each other, and one thing leads to another. Until, one day, he puts a ring on your finger, and makes you his forever. The day he becomes a man, ready to be a husband, and working towards being a dad. One day, you turn over, and see him laying sleeping. He holds on tight to your arm, and so many thoughts rush to your head. You worry about him, and you’re scared to lose him. You want to care and protect him. You want to be by his side to support him. You realise, all them years growing up, curious about weddings and families, that you just began to work towards being a wife, and a mum.  

Samreece Kaur